Dreaming While Awake
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20:59

Dec 13th

225181

screamingthesilence:

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MY LITTLE SHITS

APPARENTLY NOBODY’S HEARD OF PROPER FUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICHES SO I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU FUCKS HOW TO MAKE ONE

FIRST STRUT YOUR FINE ASS OVER TO YOUR FREEZY BOX AND GRAB YOURSELF SOME OF THAT SWEET WOMAN OF JESUS AUNT JEMIMA’S WAFFLES AND YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM. IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM THAN JUST GRAB WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU GOT IN THERE. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DAMN ICE CREAM THEN SHIT MAN YOU’RE OUT OF LUCK.

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IF YOU’RE NOT A WHINY PANSY AND YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE BEING A HARDCORE MOTHER FUCKER THEN TOSS IN SOME OTHER SHIT YOU LIKE

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BUT FOR RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO FOCUS ON ALL YOU PANSIES WHO WANT YOUR ICE CREAM UNTAINTED BY OTHER SUCCULENT TOPPINGS

RIP INTO THAT BOX OF SWEET AUNTIE’S WAFFLES AND FIRMLY GRASP TWO

NO MORE THAN TWO

JUST DON’T DO IT

YOU ARE NOT YET READY FOR THE COLOSSAL CREAM CLUB SUB  

ONCE YOU HAVE THOSE TWO LITTLE SHITS IN YOUR HAND THROW THEM ACROSS THE ROOM SO THAT THEY LAND PERFECTLY IN YOUR TOASTER

IF YOUR AIM SUCKS ASS JUST PUT THEM IN GENTLY WHILE TRASH TALKING YOUR TOASTER BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL HARDCORE

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WHILE YOU’RE WAITING FOR YOUR WAFFLES TO BE AS TOASTY AS YOUR CHOICE ASS RUN OUTSIDE AND SMASH A CAR OR SOMETHING

BY THE TIME YOU WASH THE BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS THOSE DELICIOUS LITTLE SYRUP DISKS SHOULD BE READY FOR ACTION

TOSS THOSE FUCKERS ON A PLATE AND PILE THE CREAMY GOODNESS ON ONE OF THEM

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COVER UP THAT SHIT WITH YOUR OTHER WAFFLE AND WHIP OUT THAT BUTTERFLY BLADE YOU KEEP ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES BECAUSE THE THUG LIFE CHOSE YOU

STAB THE BASTARD REPEATEDLY UNTIL IT’S PERFECTLY SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE YOU’RE A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER

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NOW FOR YOU SICK FUCKS THAT THINK YOU CAN HANDLE MORE TOPPINGS YOU’RE GOING TO DO THE SAME SHIT THAT I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU TO DO BUT BEFORE YOU PILE ON YOUR ICE CREAM YOU WANT TO LATHER YOUR PEANUT BUTTER/ CHOCOLATE SYRUP/ WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND ONTO THE WAFFLE

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THEN DUMP OTHER TASTY SHIT ON THERE AS YOU SEE FIT

YOU GET TO FIGURE OUT THAT PART I’M NOT GOING TO HOLD YOUR HAND THROUGH THIS WHOLE PROCESS LITTLE SHITLET

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AND AFTER THAT JUST GO BACK UP AND READ THE PANSY INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE THEY’RE THE SAME THING FROM HERE OUT

CONGRATULATIONS YOU JUST MADE A MOTHERFUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICH AND YOUR PRIZE IS YOU GET TO GO DEVOUR IT LIKE IT’S THE BEST THING YOU’VE TASTED SINCE YOUR MOTHER’S BREAST MILK BECAUSE IT DAMN SURE IS

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(Source: steelandsparks)

20:59

Dec 13th

9749

(Source: s0tc)

20:59

Dec 13th

43467

nickmoorexvx:

the-essential-disney-blog:

nickmoorexvx:

With this disguise it will be a breeze to infiltrate the local school system and gain valuable information.

i want to wear oreos as jewelry also 

Did I just get made fun of by the essential Disney blog? 

(Source: deathwingxvx)

20:58

Dec 13th

2072

(Source: sugarpussy)

20:56

Dec 13th

60762

the-absolute-best-posts:

My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

(Source: wastetheday)

#fc
20:56

Dec 13th

656684

oracles-and-deities:

You can’t NOT reblog this. It’s like the Tumblr After Dark/Night Blogger Logo. It’s like our fucking Bat signal.

20:56

Dec 13th

248

fifty flawless faces
 Harry Shum Jr

20:55

Dec 13th

1082
20:54

Dec 13th

826728
#fc
20:53

Dec 13th

235702

execute-billiards:

shada-was-in-the-area-and:

mechanicalbino:

ctrayn:

arthurdarvillismyspiritanimal:

agentsama:

sardinesawesomeness:

whimsicalsummersunflower:

Its like an evolution 0.o

OHMYGOD

In which Tim Burton has just been directing one long movie this entire time.

 but the movies have come out in the reverse order

“every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end…but not necessarily in that order”

I KNEW IT ALL ALONG

THIS IS GREAT

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20:52

Dec 13th

143591

rainbowballz:

do you ever wish you could unread a book or unwatch a movie/tv show just so you could go back and experience it all again as if it were brand new

(Source: babebraham)

20:52

Dec 13th

525071

twelvejammiedodgers-andafez:

on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter

how bad is your idea

(Source: impossiblebowties)

20:51

Dec 13th

20436